You Should Put a Muzzle on Your Pet

Ok - and now the latest on The Labelers.

Mrs. Labeler has made "visits" to our home and The Bubble's home lamenting the mistreatment of her son. She says that our kids are always calling her son stupid, idiot and the like. I will say that I do not think my boys are angels, but I don't think they are doing all they are being accused of.

Many many times, I have seen Spaz fall off his scooter or trip while playing and immediately scream that one of the other boys has pushed him. This is rarely the case as the other boys are 20 yards away and he didn't know I saw the entire thing. Of the millions of times I have seen the boys playing, Spaz has gotten hurt by one of them maybe four times and it is an accident. He likes to try and get the other kids in trouble. Mrs. Bubble and I just ignore it all for the most part - saying the "Either work it out or don't play together" mantra. But Mrs. Labeler rushes out and interrogates the boys about picking on her son and lectures them for about 15 minutes. She is a child therapist after all.....

Her latest claim is that my oldest keeps telling her son that she is fat.

I asked him about it and he said he would never say that. My oldest is a crappy liar. I can always tell when he is not telling the truth and I believe him when he says he has not said that. That is just not a word we use in our house and I try not to comment on people in that manner. I may say they are a lousy driver, but I don't make remarks around my kids about people that are derogatory. Not because I am such a nice person, but because I know my kids would repeat it in front of them and there I would stand - embarassed. "Mom, isn't she the lady you called a lardass and said couldn't keep her man pleaser shut to save her life?" - right in the middle of a dinner party or something. That would be my luck.

I told Mrs. Labeler after she had said her son said my son had called her fat for about the fifteenth time, that I didn't believe that and that I thought many of Spaz's accusations were fabricated. I gave her examples of situations I had witnessed and how I thought he was wise enough to push her buttons. The kid almost failed Kindergarten last year and you think he didn't notice how stressed she was about him being labeled "stupid?" He knows she is sensitive about that, so he uses it, just like the "fat" comments.

Mr. Labeler, dear sweet loving husband that he is, makes remarks about her weight ALL the time. She put on a bit of weight when she was pregnant and has not lost much of it. I am not ridiculing her at all as I could stand to lose some weight myself! But I cannot imagine Pants telling me all the time "I won't have a fat wife." "You need to lose some weight." And so on - Mr. Labeler actually says things like this to her. But I am about to give you the most incredible comment ever made. The one time I have been left speechless (and that never happens, I assure you). This comment is also the reason why I believe that Spaz is pushing Mom's buttons again - the being accused of being fat upsets her. And since it is mentioned in their house daily by her husband, the kid is well aware of the power of that comment. He thinks if he says one of the other kids is saying it, Mama will rush to his rescue and the other boy will get in trouble. Ever see "The Good Son?" Yep, he's a sneaky little worm.

We were all at The Bubble's house cooking out with some friends of theirs from out of town. We had never met their friends before - I tell you this because it makes the comment from Mr. Labeler even more astounding. Everyone was sitting around chatting, all the kids were upstairs except for the baby and Spaz. It was a pleasant time and we were enjoying ourselves. There was a lull in the conversation when we three ladies were talking about needing to get out and exercise some more. Mr. Labeler breaks out with, and I quote. "It's not really that bad having sex with a fat girl. It's different, but not really bad."

The room was silent and we were all quietly thinking "What the hell?" That her husband would even say that out loud - much less in front of people he had met less than 30 minutes before. WOW. We were all in shock. Mrs. Labeler just looked and us and smiled a weak smile but said nothing. I felt so bad for her, but was in shock. I still can't get over it.

And they think our kids are the reason her son keeps saying she is fat. Ummm..... Hello? McFly????


They keep threatening to move. Which on one hand would be a good thing, but on the other... Damn, they are entertaining. Plus, what if a housefull of midgets moved in or something? That would creep me out. Or what if a family that was even weirder moved in? Nah, nevermind. It'd never happen.