Some People You Just Can't Reach...

Pants gets Maxim magazine. It is actually a good read and I enjoy it too (when you overlook the obvious inferiority complex and body issues that arise from turning it's glossy pages) and I really love a little segment they do every month where they print random idiotic comments and conversations they have overheard. Every time I hear something that I think would be perfect for that forum, I should write them down. People never cease to amaze me. And while my quotes occasionally require a bit more detail than those of the pages of Maxim, I still think they are somewhat entertaining.

I plan on posting them randomly every now and then. Just for fun. And because it always makes you feel just a little smarter when you can laugh at someone else's expense and total stupidity. Does me, anyway.


Overheard in the front yard:
Mr. Labeler standing near a big ass oak tree that has dropped probably 10,000 acorns in the last two days: "Are these little nut looking thingys the things that grow those trees?" He's a teacher, people.


Overheard at the office:
"My daughter has a really beautiful singing voice, she is just off key most of the time. But when she does hit the right note, it's so pretty." ??? What the hell? So every 200 notes or so, she is good?


At the grocery store:
Seafood manager: "Yes, ma'am. We do have some fresh salmon that just came in today shipped straight from Washington."

Stupid lady who pronounced the "l" in salmon: "State or D.C.?"
Yep, they pulled those little bastards right out of the Potomac as they were heading upstream to spawn......


On the phone with an agent:
"Do you have a market that will write a process server? He serves people with papers and serves some penises?" ...... I think he meant "subpoenas"