A Reunion Of Sorts

Many many moons ago, when I was in my late teens and stepping out on my own, I formed a friendship with a guy named Pete. Yes, dear, it's you. Our friendship was very cool in that he would take care of me when I was too drunk to take care of myself and I protected him from a frighteningly unattractive girl we worked with. She had the hots for old Pete and for the life of me, I can't understand why he didn't reciprocate. Perhaps it was her overabundance of chest hair, or her bad breath, or the fact that she was just plain scary - she could have crushed any one of us like a bug if she had wanted to. Whatever it was, he never did go out with her. Largely thanks to me as I would run cover for him whenever we all went out after work. I think we succeeded in making her think we were a secret item, so she eventually left him alone.

We were only friends; however, and great ones at that. We made each other laugh and also understood each other. He was like a brother to me and will always be one of the best friends I have ever had. Truly. I moved away and we only slightly kept in touch - enough so that we knew what the other was doing.

Later in life, when Medium Pants was very small, I moved back home and went to work for/with Pete. We picked up right back where we had been. He became great friends with Pants. Golfing pals with stories I do not want to hear. I adore his wife - she is perfect for him. We were all friends. And so life rumbled along - I enjoyed work and had a good time while I was there and all was well in my world.

I could make this entry really really long, but I won't. In a nutshell, things transpired that were beyond either of our control and I took another job. It was a hard decision, but I felt it was best. Things were very uncomfortable from then on out. We lost touch and didn't speak for about 5 years. We ran into each other at a business function and it was weird. But not so weird that I didn't miss our friendship and maybe even regret my hasty actions.

I sent him an e-mail about a year ago letting him know how we were, a picture with all the Pants and an indication that I would be open to communication. Thankfully, he responded and from then on, we e-mailed almost every day. Catching up with each other's lives and stepping right back into the comfort level we had before. I was laughing my butt off at his jokes and things I had forgotten. It was like we used to be - sorta. We still had the safety of e-mail - no face to face and the option to delete.

This past Friday we all four attended the funeral of another dear friend. And there we were - face to face. I will admit I was anxious because I hadn't seen him since we renewed our friendship. The cautiousness of the e-mail relationship was even more apparent when I knew we would all see each other. And without the option of liquor as a confidence provider - it was scary. But as soon as we all saw each other, all the nervousness and uncertainty were gone. He was the same guy I had practically grown up with and I felt completely at ease.

He and Pants went and played golf Sunday and he stopped by our house afterwards. He had never seen Small Pants and had not seen Medium Pants since he was four except in pictures. Medium Pants is now ten for an idea of how long it had been - really long. It was absolutely wonderful. I realized how much I missed him and our friendship.

We have plans to all get together and cook out, drink beer and visit. I am excited. It is going to be great to be able to banter with him again - I have really missed that. But more importantly, I feel like I am getting part of my life back. He was a huge part of my life. You must consider we have know each other for 20 years. That's a long damn time. Sadly, I feel like I wasted some of that because of foolish pride and uncertainty. I could kick myself for doing that. I think there are still some things that might need to be said or ironed out - nothing bad, just clarifications and reassurances, but I know it will be okay.

Oddly enough, after seeing Pete this weekend and talking with him, I feel a bit younger and a bit wiser. He has reminded me of my youth and also reminded me of my shortcomings. That isn't a bad thing - I know what they are already, but now I know that I can deal with them. Maybe not in the timeframe I would like, but I can do it. Seeing him again gave me a weird strength - I think in part due to the uncertainty of what had happened between us. It was so useless to allow a misunderstanding and hurt feelings to come between us when we were so close. Now that I have acknowledged to myself how I should have handled the whole thing, I can move forward. The dissoloution of our friendship has always been hard for me to talk about and accept. I feel shame for allowing something so many people are never fortunate enough to have get cast aside.

So thank you, Pete. Thanks for being open minded, forgiving, allowing our reunion and restoring some of my youth. Now, if I can just get you to help me a little bit on the damn crow's feet, we will be back in business.