The New and Improved Bubble Boy
You may recall my tales of the neighbors I call "The Labelers." They are the parents of Spazwad, whom you might remember from previous posts. We have another set of neighbors I call "The Bubble People" because they live in a bubble and are oblivious to just about everything. They let their 5 year old son watch The Exorcist. The original one with Linda Blair that I still, at my sad and old age, cannot watch without covering my eyes in some parts.
Their son is now 6. He got caught trying to dissect a toad in their back yard a few months ago. I explained to Medium Pants that I was not ok with this and he was not to be a party to hurting any animal (other than spiders and mosquitoes, of course) and that I thought it was mean. I know he will have to do it in 9th grade biology, but that one is already dead and it will be done under his teacher's instruction.
Apparently, according to Mrs. Labeler, he was finally sucessful in his mutilation endeavors just last week. Her son ratted their kid out. I asked Medium Pants about it and he knew it happened, but left when the plan became clear and told Bubble Boy that he thought it was mean. I am very proud.
Anyway, Mrs. Labeler brought the dissection to Mrs. Bubble's attention the other night as we watched fireworks. She then, being a child therapist and all, explained that animal mistreatment and mutilation was an indication of sociopathic and psychotic behavior. For example, most serial killers started out hurting and killing defenseless animals just for entertainment. I almost fell out!
Mr. & Mrs. Bubble asked me about it later, and I just stood there. I mean, how could I say that I think he's a weird kid, but I don't know if he intends to kill the family while they are sleeping. She asked me what I thought about the toad dissecting, and I said I thought it was kind of mean, but I was no therapist. I just think it is wrong to make an animal suffer, sorry. She said she would talk to Bubble Boy about it. We'll see.
Then, after a few drinks, we both agreed that the Labelers should perhaps psychoanalyze their own child before they begin on ours.
Their son is now 6. He got caught trying to dissect a toad in their back yard a few months ago. I explained to Medium Pants that I was not ok with this and he was not to be a party to hurting any animal (other than spiders and mosquitoes, of course) and that I thought it was mean. I know he will have to do it in 9th grade biology, but that one is already dead and it will be done under his teacher's instruction.
Apparently, according to Mrs. Labeler, he was finally sucessful in his mutilation endeavors just last week. Her son ratted their kid out. I asked Medium Pants about it and he knew it happened, but left when the plan became clear and told Bubble Boy that he thought it was mean. I am very proud.
Anyway, Mrs. Labeler brought the dissection to Mrs. Bubble's attention the other night as we watched fireworks. She then, being a child therapist and all, explained that animal mistreatment and mutilation was an indication of sociopathic and psychotic behavior. For example, most serial killers started out hurting and killing defenseless animals just for entertainment. I almost fell out!
Mr. & Mrs. Bubble asked me about it later, and I just stood there. I mean, how could I say that I think he's a weird kid, but I don't know if he intends to kill the family while they are sleeping. She asked me what I thought about the toad dissecting, and I said I thought it was kind of mean, but I was no therapist. I just think it is wrong to make an animal suffer, sorry. She said she would talk to Bubble Boy about it. We'll see.
Then, after a few drinks, we both agreed that the Labelers should perhaps psychoanalyze their own child before they begin on ours.
posted by Justin @ 12:03 PM
3 Comments:
At 8:22 AM,
Ronni said…
It's pretty difficult to tell a mom that her kid is headed down the road of Ted Bundy and Hannibal Lector.
But, maybe she will be just a teensy bit prepared for it when the school nurse tells her, or the police.
At 1:43 AM,
Anonymous said…
Geez, Justin! That really gives me the creeps.
Unfortunately, children seem to go through periods of being cruel to each other.
But, hurting animals?! Uh, uh, that stinks!
I'm with Ronni on this one. When you have to ask a neighbour what they think about cruelty to animals...I think you are in serious denial!
JMHO
At 10:16 PM,
CountryGirl said…
Whoa Justin. Ditto the above 2 comments. Jeffrey Dahlmer alert! He started with impaling the heads of animals he killed in the yard, then graduated to heads in the fridge. Yikes.
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