The Twilight Zone - Redefined

There are a few things of which I am well-aware. Things that I know must be blatently obvious to everyone, but then perhaps I expect too much of people. I will list just three of them here:

1) No man looks good in a Speedo - It doesn't matter how hot or well-built you are.

2) Apparently, turn signals are sold as "optional equipment" on some car models.

3) I have an unusual name for a girl. And yes, I know it's a boy's name.


I deal with the lovely #3 everyday. On the phone, meeting new people, when writing a check, etc. Anytime someone needs to know my name, I get an odd look or a comment. Yeah, funny - I have never heard the "Your mama must have wanted a boy" or "You shoulda married a man with the last name of Time" jokes, really. Never. Originality is not some people's strong suit, is it?

I had to go to Walmart this weekend. I know, don't say it. I hate that freakin place too, but it takes 45 minutes to get to Target. Anyway, I didn't come here to talk about the crumbling of Western civilization. I had to go to Walmart. As I was checking out and writing my check, the pleasant girl with impeccable manners (that would be sarcasm there) asked to see my driver's license. I obliged. This woman, with hair that was so stiff and oddly styled, fake nails that were painted with designs and her one gold tooth, peered at my license. She would look at it then look at me then look at it again. She did this about three times.

She then said, in a way that can only be translated if you could hear me imitate her (but imagine my head swiveling back and forth as if it were no longer attached to my neck with anything but a coil) "You gots a weird name, you knows it?"

I nodded and said, "Yes, thank you." Then I looked at her nametag. I had to lean forward and sound it out. You will never in 40 million years guess it. It took me several attempts and I made a point to let her see me sounding it out to myself. Is the suspense killing you?


"Tylomeklia"


I'll give you a few moments to process that.......


Never one to "just let it go" I looked at her nametag then looked at her then her nametag again. I just smiled at her and said "Yes, it is an unusual name isn't it, Tylomeklia?" The man in line behind me, who had witnessed the entire sitcom just started laughing. Out loud, really loudly. Loud enough for people to turn and look.

Tylomeklia looked at him knowingly and said "She do have a weird name, don't she?"


Unfreakingbelievable.

That has never happened to me at Target, I'll have you know.