Searching For A Cure.......

They say in the old Eddie Cochran hit "Summertime Blues" that there ain't no cure for them. I beg to differ. I believe that a seat right on the beach and a big ass marguerita usually cures those blues, even if said cure is temporary. But alas, we are unable to make it to the beach this summer as a family. I get to go briefly on a business trip, but I would rather go with Pants and the two smaller size pants.

Summer is always a time of mixed emotion at our house. While I love the excitement of summer vacation, the weather and the boys excitement at moving up a grade, I also dread summertime. Camps and activities overflow every day almost to the point of being too much. Also, we have issues with heat and attitudes.

Medium Pants alternates between camp and my mom's so that he doesn't get bored with either too quickly. The camp he goes to is at his school and the try to schedule field trips and special activities, so he tries to go there on those days, but the days where they are just hanging out at the gym, he tries to spend the day at his grandmother's for something a little different.

Small Pants is in pre-school and during the summer the schedule is fun, fun, fun!!! Every day is something different - bubble day, water day, fun day with moon bounces and water slides, trips to the park, visits from the fire department (those are planned and not due to smoke or an alarm being sounded) and so on. So usually, I am halfway to work and struck with "Oh God, did I send his bubbles with him? Does he have his Spongebob swimtrunks and a towel?" It can be stressful sometimes because our house is a little nutty in the morning with us all running around like chickens trying to make sure we have everything we need for the day.

But here is the real reason I am no fan of summer. It's too damn hot. The humidity here is ungodly and you cannot escape it. The heat index is usually a good 10 degrees higher than the actual temperature and that is due to the humidity. You step outside and it is like a old stale sheet has been thrown in boiling rancid water for 15 minutes then thrown on your body as soon as you leave the air conditioned safety of your home. So not only are you hot and wet, but you are smelly too.

And poor Pants usually has to work out in this crap every day. In jeans. Welding. Which involves producing even more heat. And wearing long sleeves. I'll let that sink in for a second...... Welding. Outside. In 100 degree weather. In jeans.

So, as you can imagine, he is a ridiculously pleasant person when he arrives home from work. Yes, that was sarcasm. We suffer through this every summer. EVERY summer. We will not even address the odor issue, because, dear Lord, bless his heart, he can't help that. You would smell bad too if you were out all day in that heat. Welding. In jeans. Outside. Did I mention that before? Anyway, he comes home and he is really, really crabby. He is hot and tired and totally drained. All he wants to do is change clothes, because his are usually still soaked, and sit in the a/c and perhaps drink a nice cold cold beer. And then just sit in the a/c for a while longer.

OK, I get this. I know how shitty it must be to work out in the heat the whole day - I could not do it. There is no way I could - I would be crying like a sissy after just an hour or probably less. So it is not that I do not have sympathy for him because I do. I respect my husband not just for what a good & honest man he is but for how hard he works every day. You could never call him a slacker - unless you were talking about picking up dirty socks, but again, I am getting off topic.

But picture my afternoon - early evening. I pick up both boys from their respective zoos. My mind is already racing about what I need to prepare for them for whatever field trip/activity they have the next day. They are begging on the ride home to go swimming/go to Tyler, Conner, Nicholas, Zach or Colby's house/have one of them come to our house/watch Power Rangers/have a coke/have some m&m's/play baseball/play kickball/play video games/ride bikes/ride scooters/etc.

So, as soon as I get them home, I have to change clothes and go outside with them to play. Which is fine - I am not complaining about playing with my kids. I actually enjoy being out there with them, except for the damned heat. And I know that winter will be here soon enough and they will get sick of staying inside. Pants is inside cooling off still and looks miserable and a bit pale. I try to get the kids out of his way so he can just relax for a bit. After a little while he comes out, mainly because I think he feels obligated to do so.

Here's the thing. He is short-tempered with the boys and me and a gem to everyone else. And I know it is because the sun has sapped every ounce of energy he had. He gets onto the boys for the slightest infraction and is short with me, probably because I am sticking up for them, but is cheerful and pleasant with the neighbors. I guess I am a little bit more patient with them because I know they have just been hyped up all day and they are still running on that excitement. Besides, it's summer - who can forget how you felt when you were in elementary school and you finally understood what "summer vacation" meant? So they are running around the yard yelling and sweating (and you know how sweaty little boys smell), I am standing there watching and sweating and Pants is standing there yelling and sweating.

We make a lovely picture, I am certain - me, the two stinky polecats and Grumplestiltskin.

Maybe our summers would go more smoothly if he just stayed in the a/c. And I don't mean that in a bitchy way. I can handle the kids outside and I am not working in the heat all day. If it will put you in a better mood, stay inside and cool off. Suits me just fine. We'll be in later. If it will make you less of a grump I am all for it!

I must state that Pants is not usually a grumpy person and always leaves his work issues at work. It is truly the heat and being so drained that makes his such a crab. This always happens every summer. It is exhausting for him and I try to be sympathetic. It's hard sometimes though, when he can be nice to everyone else but no so much to us. I guess he expects us to be more understanding and maybe we should be. Now I feel guily for complaining because this is the only time Pants is a crab. Oh, and when he is sick he's a big turd too.

I told him if we moved to Maine, our summers would be nicer. He just looked at me. So I guess we are staying here. Mr. & Mrs. Grumplestiltskin.