Warm Fuzzies and Crap Like That
I admit it. I love Pants. Truly.
We work well together on all levels. We communicate well, we don't stew on minor issues, we appreciate each other (he needs a little work in that area, however...pick up your damn dirty socks, please because if I find one more pair under the ottoman, you will be pulling them out of your butt), we make each other laugh, we have great sex and he is who I turn to for everything. And I mean everything. If something is bothering me, I have girlfriends that I could call, but I usually just talk to him about it. I always get their opinions later, because, you know, women are better at some things, but I value his advice and opinion.
Our marriage is not perfect - we bicker sometimes over the normal things. I work a full time job and come home only to work another. I take care of the entire household - laundry, cleaning, getting the kids up and ready every morning, etc. The latter is only because he leaves before they even get up and in his defense, he cooks out on the grill a ton - I am no Betty Crocker. I feel that I don't even get to sit down until the last kid is in bed asleep and then sometimes it's just so I can fold clothes. But I guess that is all part of being an adult and a parent. It's that whole, you don't appreciate all that I do spiel that all mothers contend with.
I am droning on and on about how lovely Pants is because I have several friends whose marriages are kinda rocky. One is a wonderful loving woman who puts up with way too much shit. Basically her husband is an ass. They like labels. Alot. Supposedly he has ADD, ADHD, OCD and Depression but takes nothing for any of it. When he was being a total jerk in the wintertime, he had that "SAD" thingy or whatever it is when some people don't get enough sunlight. YAWN...... Well, he's being one again and I asked her the other day what was his problem now, too much sun? She said no, he just has cycles. Cycles? CYCLES?? I said, "Hey, I know what his label is...PRICK."
I apparently had a bout of depression late last year, but can not imagine thinking it would be okay to speak to my spouse the way he speaks to her. Instead of turning on Pants, I turned to him - I leaned on him - I guess that is us in a nutshell. However, in contrast, he tells her constantly that he is miserable and unhappy and he needs to be left alone. If she were me, I'd be saying ok, buddy and be leaving him and all his shit alone at the curb with the locksmith in the driveway. Just me, I guess. But I know people will continue to do what they are allowed to do, so as long as she puts up with it, I keep my mouth shut for the most part. When she gets her fill, she'll go. Or she may be one of those that thrives on the rollercoaster ride.
I guess because Pants and I had both been through really crappy relationships before we met, we already knew what we would put up with and what would not be tolerated. Dealbreakers are cheating or physical abuse. The physical abuse I would never have to worry about with Pants. The cheating - very very doubtful. I am not stupid. I would love to say that he would never do that and that is what I truly believe. But I would not be the type to ignore any signs either. I learned a long time ago that you can make yourself sick worrying about that shit. He knows what he stands to lose if he is a big enough idiot to do that and if it's worth it to him.... The same goes for me, he would walk out with the boys in a heartbeat if I betrayed him. It is not worth it. Why would you throw away your life and your family for that? I know how much him doing it to me would hurt me and I could never hurt him like that. Besides, Paul Newman said it best - "Why go out for hamburger when you have steak at home?"
We just appreciate each other and know that neither of us EVER wants to venture into the dating scene again. Not to mention that it was written into our marriage contract that whomever decides to leave has to take the kids. I'm not going anywhere.
There is some fine print though at the bottom of the contract that states if Matthew Maconaghey ever shows up on our doorstep, I cannot be held accountable for what might occur. Yes, Pants, it really says that. It's really really small print. Don't you see it?
We work well together on all levels. We communicate well, we don't stew on minor issues, we appreciate each other (he needs a little work in that area, however...pick up your damn dirty socks, please because if I find one more pair under the ottoman, you will be pulling them out of your butt), we make each other laugh, we have great sex and he is who I turn to for everything. And I mean everything. If something is bothering me, I have girlfriends that I could call, but I usually just talk to him about it. I always get their opinions later, because, you know, women are better at some things, but I value his advice and opinion.
Our marriage is not perfect - we bicker sometimes over the normal things. I work a full time job and come home only to work another. I take care of the entire household - laundry, cleaning, getting the kids up and ready every morning, etc. The latter is only because he leaves before they even get up and in his defense, he cooks out on the grill a ton - I am no Betty Crocker. I feel that I don't even get to sit down until the last kid is in bed asleep and then sometimes it's just so I can fold clothes. But I guess that is all part of being an adult and a parent. It's that whole, you don't appreciate all that I do spiel that all mothers contend with.
I am droning on and on about how lovely Pants is because I have several friends whose marriages are kinda rocky. One is a wonderful loving woman who puts up with way too much shit. Basically her husband is an ass. They like labels. Alot. Supposedly he has ADD, ADHD, OCD and Depression but takes nothing for any of it. When he was being a total jerk in the wintertime, he had that "SAD" thingy or whatever it is when some people don't get enough sunlight. YAWN...... Well, he's being one again and I asked her the other day what was his problem now, too much sun? She said no, he just has cycles. Cycles? CYCLES?? I said, "Hey, I know what his label is...PRICK."
I apparently had a bout of depression late last year, but can not imagine thinking it would be okay to speak to my spouse the way he speaks to her. Instead of turning on Pants, I turned to him - I leaned on him - I guess that is us in a nutshell. However, in contrast, he tells her constantly that he is miserable and unhappy and he needs to be left alone. If she were me, I'd be saying ok, buddy and be leaving him and all his shit alone at the curb with the locksmith in the driveway. Just me, I guess. But I know people will continue to do what they are allowed to do, so as long as she puts up with it, I keep my mouth shut for the most part. When she gets her fill, she'll go. Or she may be one of those that thrives on the rollercoaster ride.
I guess because Pants and I had both been through really crappy relationships before we met, we already knew what we would put up with and what would not be tolerated. Dealbreakers are cheating or physical abuse. The physical abuse I would never have to worry about with Pants. The cheating - very very doubtful. I am not stupid. I would love to say that he would never do that and that is what I truly believe. But I would not be the type to ignore any signs either. I learned a long time ago that you can make yourself sick worrying about that shit. He knows what he stands to lose if he is a big enough idiot to do that and if it's worth it to him.... The same goes for me, he would walk out with the boys in a heartbeat if I betrayed him. It is not worth it. Why would you throw away your life and your family for that? I know how much him doing it to me would hurt me and I could never hurt him like that. Besides, Paul Newman said it best - "Why go out for hamburger when you have steak at home?"
We just appreciate each other and know that neither of us EVER wants to venture into the dating scene again. Not to mention that it was written into our marriage contract that whomever decides to leave has to take the kids. I'm not going anywhere.
There is some fine print though at the bottom of the contract that states if Matthew Maconaghey ever shows up on our doorstep, I cannot be held accountable for what might occur. Yes, Pants, it really says that. It's really really small print. Don't you see it?
posted by Justin @ 9:32 PM
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