Things My Husband Needs To Know.........
1) A smack on my ass while I am unloading the dishwasher doesn't count as either foreplay OR affection.
2) A High-Five after sex does NOT constitute snuggling.
3) While it is usually acceptable to fart while in the bathroom, it is NOT acceptable to do so while I am standing at the sink next to you brushing my teeth.
4) And finally.....Yes, your feet really do stink.
I am sure there will be more added to this list later.
And as an aside, I am going to refrain from discussing American Idol today simply because of the caustic criticism I received from a certain someone who shall remain nameless who said I took the show far too seriously. Of course, that person also knows they can kiss my ass. Seriously. They can. You know who you are, don't you?
go taylor. go taylor. go taylor. go taylor. go taylor. go taylor.
posted by Justin @ 7:45 AM
3 Comments:
At 9:00 AM,
Anonymous said…
So, others can comment on American idol???
Great! I am so glad that Elliot is still in the race. Yay!!
You are making me glad that I don't have a husband.....I vaguely remember some of the stuff you mentioned, though.
Mine lost his dentures in the sea! Believe me, I really saw him through new eyes. Thank the Lord above, he had spares.
Ha! ha! It never bothered me until I saw him without them. I'm tearing up, I'm laughing so much!
At 6:47 PM,
Anonymous said…
Justin, you crack me up. I love your blog. Keep writing, and thanks for hanging around!
I can't comment on Idol. I am a non-Idol watcher. I know, I know. Too busy stalking and harassing, you see. I only have so many hours in my 20-hour a day Internet dwelling!
At 10:13 PM,
Ronni said…
I got you on that one! SSS lost not one but TWO sets of dentures while swimming in area lakes!
And his morning flatulence was in the category of earth-shaking. I mean, we're talking vast volcanic rumbles here!
Not to mention the gagging and nose-running that made mornings such a joy...
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